We have all heard it… We have all SAID it… “Why don’t you GROW UP!” Perhaps you were even having one of those monumentally insightful (eyes rolling) conversations about somebody close to you in the 3rd person and uttered the phrase “If he/she would just grow up, they could stop struggling with ___ (insert character flaw here).  I don’t even have to have ever met you and I am certain that you are guilty. I certainly am. Although we may technically be right, at least from our point of view, how much thought have you actually put behind it? Have you ever really contemplated what it truly means to grow up?

Growing Up at the “Being” Level

When we in our culture use the phrase “growing up” what do we actually mean? We aren’t really talking about getting older per se. Although there is a tangible amount of wisdom and experience that comes with age, the amount of birthday candles on your cake isn’t exactly correlated to how “grown up” you are. There is a strong current that more or less sweeps us along through our younger years and then past adolescence before spilling us into the Gulf of Adulthood. It takes some folks longer to get down the river than others, but most make it at least to the gulf. After you’re a bonafide adult its on you. Because we all know of both 70 year old whiners and toddlers with the wisdom of an old soul.

I spent some time last summer with a group of these so-called responsible adults for a workshop in the mountains southwest of Washington D.C. One of our main topics of discussion every night was this theme of growing up, but growing up at the being level. We had the privilege of working intimately with NASA Physicist and Expert in consciousness research Tom Campbell who put a proper perspective on it for me.

What do I mean by the “being” level?

When I talk about myself at the “being” level, I am talking about the way that I “am” at the core. Not about the way that I act, but the way that I really am.  Me at my being level is the sum of my talents, my values, my habits, my fears, my beliefs, my assumptions and my overall disposition. It’s how I conduct myself in my interpersonal relationships. My level of maturity at the being level that I bring into any given situation has to do with my INTENT. The conscious INTENT is the key to having those “aha” moments that lead to real personal growth. Each personal epiphany is like a little trophy letting you know you “grew up” a little bit. It has everything to do with the story you are telling yourself in your own head while you are “acting” out your daily behaviors.

Age doesn’t define maturity, some people will never grow up.

Lets say I help an old lady cross a busy street. There are several possible intents that I could have while I was acting out the seemingly good deed. From a higher point of view, whether or not it was actually a good deed has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I helped anybody cross any street. It has to do with my “intent” and what I was thinking to myself at the time of the occurrence.

If I walked up and thought to myself “How stupid of her to be out here alone and vulnerable, now I of all people get stuck helping her.” Maybe I could have been thinking, “Hey, there goes an old lady who needs to cross the street… and there are a few other people around… and if they see me help this old lady they’ll really think I’m a swell guy.”  I could even be thinking, “There goes an old lady who needs help, and I know that Jesus wants me to help people, so I aught to be a good boy and help her otherwise God will be mad.”  All three of those show a low level of personal maturity at the “being” level.

Every human being is an artist. The dream of your life is to make beautiful art.

-Miguel Angel Ruiz

The INTENT of a person who has a certain maturity of the “being” would have to do with a genuine caring and love. It has to do with stepping in whenever help is needed because deep in your soul you want to make her feel safe and it makes your heart warm to add value to other people’s lives. Not just your friends and family, but everybody you come into contact with is worthy of experiencing the best version of you. Life should be an art form where we leave every person we interact with in a better emotional state than they were in beforehand.

Having positive and constructive interactions with other people literally super charges our attitude and raises our vibrational/emotional state to a place where we find more and more opportunities for personal advancement. This coupled with a childlike open minded curiosity to keep learning new things is all the fuel you need to keep growing at the being level. This is the true meaning of spiritual growth. When spiritual growth is the only thing we get to take with us from this Earthly realm, the ability to learn and unlearn becomes a crucial skill. The speed and quality of our growth depends on how much we pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and put real, honest effort into rooting out our fears, getting rid of bad habits, and shedding light on false beliefs and assumptions.

Think about it, who are you anyways? Who are you really? You have a body, and a brain, and a mind, and your thoughts… but YOU are not any of those things.  You are not your body any more than you are your Toyota. You are the consciousness that possesses and observes all of these things. We and our children accumulate these experiences through lifetimes here and there and everywhere gleaning the meaning and lessons taken to heart from each of these experiences over eons. Lets face it, wise men and women have been trying to WAKE US UP on this planet alone for thousands of years. Now it’s our responsibility to encourage each other to keep growing up with a genuine compassion, because we are all powerful beings waiting to be activated.

Know ye not that ye are gods?

Remember the plan.  Evolving a little bit every day, in every possible way.

TJ